Saturday, February 7, 2009
Living Life God's Way.........
As I've reflected on the past this month, I've realized something about God's plans for me.
He wants me to live my life out loud for him.
Wow what a concept, to be able to live my life with no preconceived notions of how I should act, or who I should please, or even how others see me.
As I sat here reflecting on the past I was reminded of a Band of Brothers group that i attended for 2 years. The purpose of the group was to define God in our lives and to focus us to understand who God created us to be.
The same time that this was going on I lost my mother to Alzheimer's.
After the initial shock and grief subsided, I was reminded of a time in my past.
My brother and i were with my mom and dad coming back from my brothers house in Arizona.
I remembered we were riding in a rambler station wagon. My brother and I were sitting in the back seat, or the jump seat as they called it back then. As kids it was really awesome to sit in the fold out seat in the luggage compartment in the back of the station wagon. It was cool to look out the back window and imagine that we were driving, or in a jet or a space ship that we were in control of.
Of course sometimes it was a battle between me and my brother on if one or both of us would be sitting there.
Anyway there was one evening in particular that i remembered. We were riding home from my brothers house, apx. 7 miles from home. As my father was driving my mother and him started getting in a fight. I don't remember what it was about (after so many years have gone by), but i knew that it was important to both of them at the time. As my brother and i sat there and watched this heated discussion turn into a full fledged fight we weren't sure what would happen next, whether it would be them or us getting the backlash of this disagreement.
Then as my mom said a few choice words, my dad stopped the car. I remember him not saying a word, turning the car off ,opening the door of the car, uttering something like dam-------- and proceeding to walk home leaving us sitting there in the car alone.
Of course as things go, my dad had not planned very well and had left the keys in the ignition. Also my father had an injury he had suffered from a broken leg years before that he hadn't taken into account either, it caused him to walk with a permanent limp. Which of course exempted him from being able to outrun the car or beat her home in any way.
I remember my mom watching him walk away and get madder every second until she couldn't contain it any longer. Right at the point at which she looked as if she was going to spontaneously combust she just simply slid over into the drivers seat and started up the car. My mother preceded to drive down the road and just as my brother and i started to think we were headed home without dad, the car stopped. There we were sitting along the side of the road in the dark waiting for my dad. My father heading towards us mumbling in unpercievable words all the way.
Interestingly enough my dad kept walking right past us. My mother simply started the car again and began to drive again ,but to our surprise she didn't drive past my dad. She drove beside him instead which angered my dad even more. At first she said nothing just drove beside him as he walked. My dad mumbling all the way. Then she reached over and rolled down the passenger window.
As she started to speak she methodically started to explain to my dad all of the reasons, one by one, on why it was such a stupid decision to walk home. How it was 5 miles more, How his leg was not up to the task, How it was dark outside,etc...
As it got darker outside and as we traveled another mile or so down the road I watched my dad wear down. It seemed like each step he took just brought him closer to a decision that he didn't want to make. Finally my dad decided that it was better to get back into the car then to salvage his pride.
We all drove home that night in silence, it was the quietest that car had ever been. After we arrived at home my mother and father went about the duties of home life and slowly that evening began talking to one another again.
Us kids were on to bigger and better things and had already forgotten about all the things that had transpired earlier that evening.
As i sat there reflecting on the past I thought on how others would think if they were able to see my mother and father fighting that night. They would probably see my mom and dad as having a bad marriage and a horrible family atmosphere.
God showed me something else. He showed me how a father can swallow his pride to keep the peace in his family. He showed me how a mother can stay with her husband when everything inside says, drive off leave him there.
In Genesis 1:27 it says(So God created man in his own image. In the image of God he created them)
In 2Timothy 4:7 it says(I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, i have kept the faith)
We must remember it is not just one moment in time that defines us, it is a lifetime lived out for God that others see.
If you were to let a group of boys loose in the woods you would soon have the civil war reenacted before your eyes. Give a group of girls a trunk full of skirts and dresses and soon you would have the ballet.
God made us in his own image. What does that mean to you?
Just like children, the right opportunities played out before us in life reveal the true creative nature that God has placed inside of us.
Dorthy Sayers wrote:"Work is not primarily a thing one does to live, but the thing one lives to do."If only that were true..... but it is what God meant for us.....
The poet Hopkins wrote: "What i do is me: For that I came"
Why is this important you may ask?
It wasn't just one moment in time that defined my mom and dads lives, it was the constant sharing of their lives with their eight children that allowed them to finish well and live their lives for God the loudest.....
As we sat at my mothers funeral and grieved of our family's loss, i watched as my family pulled together. I heard stories of some of my mom and dads rough times and I heard some of the children's love and frustrations.
But most of all I watched as God mended my family and revealed my Mom and Dad's life work.
I watched God reveal their life, lived out loud for their father God.
Below i have included a poem from "The Invitation" by Oriah.
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what you ache for, and if you dream of meeting your hearts longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your soul.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, Yes!
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls away.
It doesn't interest me who you know, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
Ending thought:
It is not one moment in time that defines us in life. it is not what we do for a living or what we do when we blow it that defines us, it is the way we live through the disappointments and victories by which God is revealed and unveiled in our lives.
We will not always be the ones who will receive the benefit of our lives lived out loud for God.....
The ones who could benefit may be the ones we leave behind.....
1 comment:
He wants me to live my life out loud for him.
Wow what a concept, to be able to live my life with no preconceived notions of how I should act, or who I should please, or even how others see me.
As I sat here reflecting on the past I was reminded of a Band of Brothers group that i attended for 2 years. The purpose of the group was to define God in our lives and to focus us to understand who God created us to be.
The same time that this was going on I lost my mother to Alzheimer's.
After the initial shock and grief subsided, I was reminded of a time in my past.
My brother and i were with my mom and dad coming back from my brothers house in Arizona.
I remembered we were riding in a rambler station wagon. My brother and I were sitting in the back seat, or the jump seat as they called it back then. As kids it was really awesome to sit in the fold out seat in the luggage compartment in the back of the station wagon. It was cool to look out the back window and imagine that we were driving, or in a jet or a space ship that we were in control of.
Of course sometimes it was a battle between me and my brother on if one or both of us would be sitting there.
Anyway there was one evening in particular that i remembered. We were riding home from my brothers house, apx. 7 miles from home. As my father was driving my mother and him started getting in a fight. I don't remember what it was about (after so many years have gone by), but i knew that it was important to both of them at the time. As my brother and i sat there and watched this heated discussion turn into a full fledged fight we weren't sure what would happen next, whether it would be them or us getting the backlash of this disagreement.
Then as my mom said a few choice words, my dad stopped the car. I remember him not saying a word, turning the car off ,opening the door of the car, uttering something like dam-------- and proceeding to walk home leaving us sitting there in the car alone.
Of course as things go, my dad had not planned very well and had left the keys in the ignition. Also my father had an injury he had suffered from a broken leg years before that he hadn't taken into account either, it caused him to walk with a permanent limp. Which of course exempted him from being able to outrun the car or beat her home in any way.
I remember my mom watching him walk away and get madder every second until she couldn't contain it any longer. Right at the point at which she looked as if she was going to spontaneously combust she just simply slid over into the drivers seat and started up the car. My mother preceded to drive down the road and just as my brother and i started to think we were headed home without dad, the car stopped. There we were sitting along the side of the road in the dark waiting for my dad. My father heading towards us mumbling in unpercievable words all the way.
Interestingly enough my dad kept walking right past us. My mother simply started the car again and began to drive again ,but to our surprise she didn't drive past my dad. She drove beside him instead which angered my dad even more. At first she said nothing just drove beside him as he walked. My dad mumbling all the way. Then she reached over and rolled down the passenger window.
As she started to speak she methodically started to explain to my dad all of the reasons, one by one, on why it was such a stupid decision to walk home. How it was 5 miles more, How his leg was not up to the task, How it was dark outside,etc...
As it got darker outside and as we traveled another mile or so down the road I watched my dad wear down. It seemed like each step he took just brought him closer to a decision that he didn't want to make. Finally my dad decided that it was better to get back into the car then to salvage his pride.
We all drove home that night in silence, it was the quietest that car had ever been. After we arrived at home my mother and father went about the duties of home life and slowly that evening began talking to one another again.
Us kids were on to bigger and better things and had already forgotten about all the things that had transpired earlier that evening.
As i sat there reflecting on the past I thought on how others would think if they were able to see my mother and father fighting that night. They would probably see my mom and dad as having a bad marriage and a horrible family atmosphere.
God showed me something else. He showed me how a father can swallow his pride to keep the peace in his family. He showed me how a mother can stay with her husband when everything inside says, drive off leave him there.
In Genesis 1:27 it says(So God created man in his own image. In the image of God he created them)
In 2Timothy 4:7 it says(I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, i have kept the faith)
We must remember it is not just one moment in time that defines us, it is a lifetime lived out for God that others see.
If you were to let a group of boys loose in the woods you would soon have the civil war reenacted before your eyes. Give a group of girls a trunk full of skirts and dresses and soon you would have the ballet.
God made us in his own image. What does that mean to you?
Just like children, the right opportunities played out before us in life reveal the true creative nature that God has placed inside of us.
Dorthy Sayers wrote:"Work is not primarily a thing one does to live, but the thing one lives to do."If only that were true..... but it is what God meant for us.....
The poet Hopkins wrote: "What i do is me: For that I came"
Why is this important you may ask?
It wasn't just one moment in time that defined my mom and dads lives, it was the constant sharing of their lives with their eight children that allowed them to finish well and live their lives for God the loudest.....
As we sat at my mothers funeral and grieved of our family's loss, i watched as my family pulled together. I heard stories of some of my mom and dads rough times and I heard some of the children's love and frustrations.
But most of all I watched as God mended my family and revealed my Mom and Dad's life work.
I watched God reveal their life, lived out loud for their father God.
Below i have included a poem from "The Invitation" by Oriah.
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what you ache for, and if you dream of meeting your hearts longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your soul.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, Yes!
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls away.
It doesn't interest me who you know, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
Ending thought:
It is not one moment in time that defines us in life. it is not what we do for a living or what we do when we blow it that defines us, it is the way we live through the disappointments and victories by which God is revealed and unveiled in our lives.
We will not always be the ones who will receive the benefit of our lives lived out loud for God.....
The ones who could benefit may be the ones we leave behind.....
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